Home Sweet Home

Early this morning I drove Josh to the airport.  He is going to watch his sister get married in Belize.  If all goes well, he’ll get to spend a few days relaxing at the beach on a tropical island.  I thought I would feel jealous as I pulled away, and he walked through the doors.  Instead though, I felt grateful to be heading back to my life.  My kids.  My home.  As hard as some days, weeks, months, even years have been in motherhood, I cannot deny the fact that there is nothing I’d rather be doing, and nowhere else I’d rather be than right where my kids are.  Would a break every now and then be nice…absolutely!  but it was an awesome feeling to know that where I am and what I am doing is exactly what is supposed to be happening.  That is peace.

Jameson Turns 2, in Pictures

 

Jameson’s favorite dinner is definitely pizza, so of course, for his birthday, we had pizza.

Here, he looks pretty happy about me lighting the candle

Here he appears to be thinking, “What the crap, lady?!  Get your own candle!”  This happened months ago, so I can’t be certain, but I’m pretty sure I had a good reason for stealing his birthday thunder by blowing out his candles.  Hmm…or I’m a terrible mother, but definitely one of those two things

The candle debacle was a distant memory when he ate his cupcake

Has anyone else noticed that it becomes nearly impossible to get a decent picture of kids when they pass the age of 5?

Presents! (a.k.a terror in a neatly wrapped package for unsuspecting family members)

It all started innocent (and safe) enough.  Jameson loves balls right now, so he got a lot of them for his birthday.   

I saved the best gift for last, or at least I thought so.  Look how ridiculously excited I was for him to open his tee ball set.

It started out fine.  Here he is, eye on the ball, ready to swing…

Then things take a turn.  His testosterone surges with all of this manly ball playing, causing Josie and I to cower in the corner as he begins pounding that bat around King Kong style

Will does his best to protect Josie from his crazy

but survival instincts kick in…Nowhere safe.  Scatter!

Happy birthday, J-Man!  We love you with the same passion and fervor that you terrorize us with! 

*A few words about my two year old little guy.  As a mom you tend to inwardly compare your experiences with your kids.  i.e.: this one looks like this one at this stage, or this one sleeps like this one, etc.  Jameson is a lot like Will at this age.  Will was not exactly easy as a toddler, likewise, neither is Jameson.  Will and I went on a journey together, and I know a journey waits for me and J.  Interestingly, he and Will share a very special bond.  Will has told me numerous times on days that he is struggling or having a hard time, that he needs to see Jameson, because J always makes him happy.  When Will walks in the door from school Jay stops anything he is doing to give Will a hug.  They just get each other.  Jameson is my most outwardly loving kid of them all.  This boy loves to give long, lingering snuggles, and kisses to his family.  He always runs up and greets you with complete excitement when he sees you.  He is smart.  He is active. He climbs, oh how he climbs!  He loves Curious George, and Mickey Mouse.  He is silly.  He is pure.  He is a blessing, and I love him with my whole heart.

Football!

Will had his first game of the season today.  This is his second year playing, and it is amazing the difference a year can make. Last year he was one of the youngest on the team, and didn’t see that much playing time.  Today, he played both sides of the ball, nearly the whole game.  Even when he was supposed to be on the sidelines while another group was out, the head coach would yell for Brown to come in, because he is such an awesome blocker, and tackler.  On offense he plays center, not really the position you think of when you see Will, but he is the only kid who isn’t scared of the line men and can hold his blocks in order to keep his QB safe.  The best part is seeing him give everything out there and then get to reap the rewards of performing well.

While Will was fighting off this kid to reach the runner…

The rest of my crew were doing this.  I was grateful that we had a big thunderstorm roll through and gift us with these puddles, because I didn’t know how else to occupy them for two 40 minute halves.

Way to go #8!  You were awesome today!

Best Walk of the Summer

 

We took a lot of walks over the summer, but this one was probably the best.  The boys are back in school!  The first week went better than it usually does.  Their attitudes about it have been good, and even though they would deny this upside down and inside out, they seem to be happier now that they’ve gone back.  Overall, life got better around our house this week.  It may be better for some than others.

We may have lost the boys this week, but we gained our dad!  For two solid years Josh has had the pedal to the metal finishing his PhD, and now completing his 3rd year of medical school.  Finally, after all this time, some of the insane pressure he’s been under has been lifted, and he has more time to be at home.  I’m proud of him for getting through it, and accomplishing so much.  We welcome our daddy home!

It may sound crazy, but him being able to just sit and hold his sleeping daughter wouldn’t have been possible even a week ago, so it’s a real treat that he can now.  Even with all that time away, he hasn’t missed a beat. 

Here he is, running a baseball game in the front yard.  Never mind the rain, they were making up for lost time!

I, however, did mind the rain, so these pictures were snapped through the sliver between trees from the front door.  Don’t judge me for not jumping in—while he has been working for two straight years someone had to constantly be with these stinkin’ kids!  I’m happy to make room for him. 

So Much…Too Much = Too Long

 

Whew!  Between now and the last time I wrote, so much  has happened.  I suppose that is to be expected when you don’t write for months and months.  This post has been weighing on me for some time now.  It’s been like that feeling I get when I know I need to schedule a dentist appointment or it’s time to renew car registrations.  Just yucky.  Not because life is yucky, but because I know I’ve already missed too much and I won’t have the energy to actually write it all, so it’s yucky to know I’ll just gloss over things.  Too many things, big things, like:  Josie turned 3, and Isaac turned 7,  Josh became a real life brain scientist—Dr. Brown, it’s official, Jameson turned 2, and Will turned 9, and Josh turned 33.  It all just happened.  Boom!  Just like that.  My whole family got older…except for me (suckas )

How did it happen?  First, Josie left my camera on the ground.  I, not thinking for one second that it would be under my foot, stepped on it and broke it.  No pictures make for boring blogs.  Second, the boys were rough housing while watching football highlights on the computer, and yanked the whole darn thing to the ground.  Broken computer makes posting, umm, impossible.  Third, I’m too tired most nights to care.  That’s right, I said it, I know I should be all broken up about not keeping a better record for posterity sake, but on some days, my current posterity makes me feel like most of this is just best forgotten.  (I kid, kind of)

So, in order of occurrence:

Josie turned 3.  Her birthday was nearly 4 months ago, and I can’t even remember what we did yesterday, so the details may be sketchy.  I’m sure it was filled with fun, and laughter.  I guarantee she loved her presents, although I can’t remember even one thing we gave her so…Happy Birthday, Jo!

What I can say is that Josie is a little momma, through and through.  She follows me everywhere.  I try to sneak away, but she is quickly at my heels calling out, “Hey Mom! (all angry like) Where are you going?”  She bosses her brothers around all the time, and they are pretty good to just listen to her.  If you don’t, it can get ugly.  She spends her days riding her scooter, or her bike, and playing hopscotch outside.  She is definitely the princess and the diva in our house.  We love her!

Isaac turned 7.  I’m going to say ditto to what I wrote about Josie’s b-day to describe Isaac’s, only Isaac probably didn’t love all of his gifts.  I’m sure we disappointed him some how.  Comes with the territory when you have a 7 year old kid who includes a two-seater go-cart on his wish list.  I don’t even know where to start to describe Isaac right now.  He is smart as a whip.  Clever and quick.  All of which make him awesome and oh-so-rotten at the same time.  He is tenacious, and does everything full steam.  When Josh and I watch him play football, or hit a golf ball or swing a baseball bat he never ceases to amaze us with all the power he can put into it.  Best I can figure is it’s a middle child thing.  A lot of pent up aggression from not being heard or seen near as much as you want.  I can safely say that, I’m a middle child too.

As for the rest of the list, to be continued.  The worst part about this hiatus is not that I missed the big things.  One day, when Josie is 25, we will know that she turned 3 at the appropriate time in history.  So what if I don’t remember the presents she got!  The worst part is missing all of the small things in life that make you laugh, scream, cry, sigh, and feel grateful to be able to do it.  So, I leave tonight with one of those. 

The other day, I was in the bathroom getting ready, and Josh walked in to blow his nose.  He picked up a roll of toilet paper from the sink.  This particular role had obviously gotten wet and then dried at some point.  This conversation then followed:

Josh:  What happened to this toilet paper?

Me:  It got wet (with a devilish look flashing across my face)

Josh then proceeds to unravel some from the role, and then pauses…

Josh:  What kind of wet?

To which I answer with a smirk, raised eyebrows and a shrug of my shoulders, as a rambunctious two year old scurries under our feet.

I knew what kind of wet, and I love that we have been blessed to be in a position where our lives cause us to pause and wonder if we are blowing our noses on toilet water soaked toilet paper.  It’s exciting isn’t it?!

Where Has the Time Gone?

I have this thing I do where I sometimes get things mixed up.  I’ll take the things that happen in life that are seemingly small -things that have a way of “working themselves out” or that “just take care of themselves”- and almost compulsively obsess over them as if with enough worry and fretting I can magically control the uncontrollable.  I don’t know why I do it.  And yet, things that are a big deal, that really do mean something, I can almost passively dismiss.  For instance, the other day a very fancy envelope came in the mail.  It was sandwiched  between my Pick ‘n Save ad and some credit card offers.  I quickly pushed it aside, as I tore into that ad to see what meat was on sale that week so I could plan meals.  Only later after passing it a few times on the countertop did I open it, and read what was inside.  It was an invitation for Josh and I to his commencement luncheon for his PhD.  As it set in that this was something that we should attend, and that it was happening on a Friday, my thought went to, “Oh no! I’ll have to find a babysitter!”  In that moment I had decided it was ok to just send Josh, until he informed me that this luncheon preceded the actual commencement ceremony where he would be recognized for all of the years of hard work he put into getting said degree.  Then I seriously thought, “Well, do we really have to go?  We’ll just be going again next year when you get your M.D.?”  Thankfully, even my own twisted head  was able to answer this one for myself.  Of course we are going!  What is wrong with me?!  The craziness of life has me jumbled.  Sometimes it’s hard to sift through it all to remember to acknowledge the moments that are happening, right here and now, instead of getting lost in the chaos.  So without further adieu, some moments…

Josie was taking a bath the other day.  Jameson wasn’t.  I turned my back for one second, and then, wouldn’t you know it?  He was.

They were both delighted at this turn of events.

Church is exhausting.  That didn’t come out right.  The nursery wears these two down, so here they are letting the stress of the day melt off them while they wait for lunch to be served.

Josie has a little toy camera that she loves to take pictures with.  When she prompts you for a photo she says, “Say cheese!”  So you do.  Then you look right at her and smile.  Then she says, “No Mama, shut your eyes!” 

True story. 

I have about a hundred pictures with Josie giving me here best pose, much like this one here.

 

I’m not sure where all the pictures are of my other two, but perhaps I can leave you with a very thoughtful comment that Isaac made to me today.

He and I had gone to lunch.  I’m learning that in order to really remember how much I love my two oldest boys, I have got to spend time with them separate from one another.  Together, they are miserable company.  No offense boys.  So, recently I took Will out to eat, and today I took Isaac.  We got into this conversation about getting shots in your back, as people often do, which led to me telling Isaac that it can be dangerous because if the shot isn’t given correctly, then you could end up paralyzed.

He pondered on this for a moment, and then said very thoughtfully, “Well, mom,  one good thing about being paralyzed is that you would always win at a sitting still contest.”

And doggone-it, he’s right.

So Much Love

 

Our little Valentine’s celebration.  I don’t think this picture is blurry as much as it is marred by Josie’s smudgy hands playing on the camera.  Either way, it’s the best one I got.  My sister and I have talked a couple of times of the one Valentine’s Day that my mom made all of our beds, cut out a big heart from construction paper, wrote a note, and then taped a candy bar to it, and had it sitting on our pillow when we got home from school.  It obviously left an impression, because it’s what she does for her own kids now, and because I am a lesser mom and feel like I have a lot more weaknesses to make up for on the parenting front; I take it a step further and buy my kids gifts.  Nothing says I’m failing you as a mother quite like a new NERF basketball hoop.   That’s not exactly why I get them gifts—not that it isn’t true that in some ways my kids definitely drew the short straw, but the real reason is because we do things for our kids in the name of celebration on many random occasions, but it makes a lot more sense to me to give them a present on a day that represents love than it does to give them a basket of candy on the day Jesus was resurrected.  I do it, but I don’t get it.

I do love them.  Isaac made me a heart out of clay in art, with all manner of colors and glitter.  Will made me a picture with hearts in a really neat pattern.  I didn’t realize this was a gift for me, and spent a chunk of one evening coloring it with him, so he could have it ready for school the next day.  When he gave it to me he said, “Ha!  I bet you didn’t know you were coloring your own present!  At least now it looks better than if I would have done it by myself!”  Funny.

I’d say that I have a lot to love.

Which brings me to this guy…

He’s pretty much the best.  I’ve known Josh for 10 years now, and been married to him all but 6 months of that time, and the longer I’m with him, the more I know that he is the best.  In 10 years time I’d say that Josh and I have tackled a lot.  I know that a lesser guy would have sunk, big time, but Josh has not only endured, he has gotten better with each year.  I think that means he’s doing it right.  Josh is the perfect companion for me.  I’m proud of how well we work together.  I know that there is nobody that I’d rather be with.  I’m so thankful that I have a husband that talks to me.  Really talks to me.  About everything.  With all that he has on his plate, and with as tired as he is, if I really want to dive into any topic he’ll make himself emotionally and mentally available for that conversation.   In every way, we are each other’s equal, although we each have very different responsibilities.  I’m yet to meet anyone who loves and enjoys their kids like he does.  I’m envious of the way he can get in there and make any situation fun.   We’ve had neighbor kids knock on our door, ask if Will can play, and then say, “Do you think his dad can come out too?”  He’s just that fun.

To prove my point, this is what he is doing, right now, as I type.  He’s simply the best, and I love him.