Catchy title. Ok, so not really controversial, but a post that draws any comments that are different than "cute kids" is electrifying around here. Perhaps I need to do a post-edit to be sure that its understood that I don't condemn women who enjoy thinking and doing things other than bearing, rearing, feeding and teaching children, or that have interests other than cleaning their homes and cooking for their spouses. Who doesn't? Most of the women I know are incredible examples of doing what's right and keeping things balanced. I look to them to help me be better, because heaven knows I'm a long way off, but hopefully, a post like that causes us to be willing to reflect on how we perceive our roles, how we honor them, and take note of how often it is a "burden that we are willing to bear", rather than a blessing to be enjoyed and learned from always. One thing I know that I am guilty of and have heard so many others do is to complain too much. We don't appreciate--at least not outwardly. I have to take stock of how many times my husband is greeted with a flustered, tired wife who wants to give him the dirt from the day, when he too has been working and serving. I know that when I do that I de-value (is that a word) his contribution making mine the greater work. In essence, I say to him, it doesn't matter what happened to you today, trust me, I worked harder and mine was worse, and now I, am entitled to some me time. See you later.
When I recognized that this is indeed what I had been doing, then how could I feel that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing by putting him first, before my kids, and even before my own needs. Maybe that's what it all comes down to. Maybe our husbands get lost in the shuffle during these hectic years of mothering young children. Maybe a lot of things do, but I think that as we all struggle to do it right, the answers to true happiness are right under our noses, in our homes, with our kids, and certainly with our spouses. When I try to "escape" less and be present more, really present, then I find there isn't anywhere else I want to be.
You ladies are all wonderful. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
4 comments:
I have no problem when women whine about being moms--a little. I whine too. I have no problem with women getting some "me" time. And I don't think it belittles them, nor their husbands to expect this--at times. Believe me--doing 1 job 24/7 does not make a "balanced" person.
I get asked all the time what "I do for fun"---and I look at people with that weird vague look too? Fun? What is that? You know what I do for "fun"? I drive 11 hours out of my way for holidays so I can spend time changing diapers, wiping noses, and watching "Signing Time" or "Teletubbies" 40 dozen times a day! And I LOVE it! So--no matter what a woman does throughout their day--whether they enjoy spending all their time just focused on rearing their children and building a relationship with their husband--or add in some "me" time, or craft time, or work-from-home, or away from home time---
I just love hearing that they LOVE what they're doing and are grateful for it.
Cause some women (like me) really would LOVE to be doing what other women are doing--but we don't get to (for whatever reason). So, I just really love reading that people appreciate what they have. I appreciate what I have--but am also grateful my sister doesn't mind getting some "me" time by allowing me to change a diaper or two every now and then!
Mary P.
http://lds.org/ensign/2002/03/happiness-in-womanhood?lang=eng
I just read this article. Sure gives some perspective! :) That's what it's all about, and I think my "me" time helps me gain perspective, but so does my "K & J & T" time.
Thanks for the comment, Mary. I think that you hit the nail on the head with being appreciative for what we have and what we do. Your neices and nephews are lucky to have an aunt like you.
great talk, AnnaMarie. I like this one too. http://lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/mothers-who-know?lang=enge too.
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